


The 5 Times Bucky Barnes Lacked Situational Awareness (And the 1 Time Steve Did too)

by neunundneunzig (seasidesunset)



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alcohol, Angst and Humor, Avengers Tower, Bottom Bucky, Costume Kink, Embarrassment, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-14 08:57:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7164527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasidesunset/pseuds/neunundneunzig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5+1 of Bucky not realizing it is completely the wrong time to be sexual with Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. During the Mission

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 한국어 available: [버키 반즈가 눈치 없었던 다섯 번(과 스티브도 눈치 없었던 한 번)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9919901) by [Dummy_pilgrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dummy_pilgrim/pseuds/Dummy_pilgrim)



Bucky Barnes was no longer the Winter Soldier, and he was grateful for that every day. He was grateful when he fought on the side who held the same morals as him, or that he could chose not to fight if he wanted. He was grateful when he got to curl up in the arms of his long time love and partner. He still had relapses and there were certain words that set him off, but it was a learning process. Life was going better for him than it had in years and years and years.

He was going on missions with the rest of the Avengers. He didn’t consider himself to be one of them. He was more than happy just being Steve’s sidekick. He was far more willing to kill for a mission, and he knew that’s why he was sent. He didn’t mind; he was using his skills for good. Like right now. He couldn’t remember exactly what the mission was, just that his main job was to clear out the security detail. The people were HYDRA agents with fairly modern technology. He had to put aside his desire to make all those he came in contact with suffer.

Bucky breathed slowly, grounding himself in the surroundings. He’d been in the Black Forest before. He didn’t know which war it was, or which side he was on for it. But it has a nice familiar feel to it. The large amount of dark cover was a comfort to him, even though it clearly upset Steve. He snuck slowly through the trees, muttering softly into the communicator, “Three spotted near my location. Permission to take them out?”

“Yeah, soldier, show them a nice time.” Tony Stark’s voice crackled in his ear. Bucky frowned a little. He didn’t know if that was permission or not.

“Permission granted, James,” Natasha sighed.

Bucky smiled. By the time the last one understood what was happening, he had one bullet inside him. Bucky pulled the trigger again, killing him. He smiled softly. He was good at his job, and it made him happy. 

He knew the silent killings unsettled Steve. He didn’t mind. It didn’t get in the way of their relationship. Bucky loved watching Steve fight. It was a wonderful display of power and finesse. He hid up at the higher ground until needed, while Steve rushed to put himself right into the main action. It lacked strategy, but it played to his strength and personality. 

Bucky put up his gun once Steve and the others started getting more in the fight. He wished that he and Barton could just silently pick off all the threats, but them two alone weren’t enough for this job. Bucky pulled his knife, holding it with his weaker hand as he charged down.

He fought viciously. It was hard to stay focused as he did. If he let his focus slip, he risked hurting his team mates. It was far too easy to fall back into the mindset of working for HYDRA as a mindless puppet. But he was Bucky Barnes, not their soldier, not their asset. He chose who he worked for and he worked better because of it. Four more were dead at his feet. He breathed slowly, trying to ground himself.

“Buck! Shield!” Steve hollered at him through the comm and near him. Bucky grabbed it as it came near him, using it bluntly against two guards before tossing it back to Steve, who had come close to him. He grinned. He loved when they fought side by side. They played best to each other’s strengths, and Bucky knew they fought fiercer with the mere idea of the other possibly being hurt.

Bucky used his arm to protect Steve, even though he knew he didn’t need it. Steve would block any hit with his shield, even if Bucky didn’t need it. It helped prevent any injury, and kept them fighting longer, both powered on by super serum.

Bucky grabbed the shield again as it bounced off a tree, hissing softly. He’d grabbed with his weaker hand. Careless mistake. He covered himself in the seconds it took to recover and move on.

“We’re inside, can you all just keep people out until we get what we need?” Clint’s voice was in his ear. He didn’t think he would ever get used to these devices. When he was the Soldier, he was simply given a mission and expected to complete it. But this was different, he was working with a full team, who had more jobs than just supplying him with more weapons.

The Hulk bounded by past them, following Iron Man to where, according to more things shouted over the comm, there were more unfriendlies. Bucky suppressed his smile. He would never quite get used to the new world of superhumans and mutants and experiments. He was still getting used to his Steve being four times the man he was, physically. Waking up in a world full of enhanced humans, and being one himself, was still strange to him. 

Steve broke someone’s nose with his shield. The wet crack of it brought Bucky back into the present. He shook his head a little, inhaling the cool forest air. He was here to fight. He had plenty of time to admire and question the world of the present back at Stark’s mansion, where they stayed. 

Bucky pulled his knife out of a man’s ribs and hit another with the forearm of his strongest arm, debilitating him enough for Steve to catch him in the gut with a quick, calculated throw of the shield.

Bucky grinned, “Captain?”

“Yeah Bucky?”

“You gonna fuck me later as hard as you’re fighting now?” He grinned, throwing his knife to an incoming soldier.

There was silence. Had he done something wrong? Steve liked for him to be vocal and enthusiastic about sex. He was still learning how to ask for things. Did he ask wrong? Did Steve not like for him to talk about sex during fights?

Static crackled in his ear, Steve’s uncertain voice, “Uh, Buck...”

“Cap,” Tony’s voice balanced between horror and glee, “Did he seriously just say that?”

“I think we all just heard that, right?” Bucky could hear the surprised amusement in Natasha’s voice. He cursed himself for this. He didn’t even think. They hadn’t made their relationship public to anyone yet, despite their obvious closeness. He didn’t know how Steve would feel about this.

“Damn it.” Clint sighs, “I owe Coulson for this, he completely called it.”

“He said a bad word. The F bomb. You heard that, right Cap?” Tony laughed, “What do you have to say about that.”

“Stevie, I’m so sorry, I...” Bucky sighed, turning to look at him, taking a moment for it. Steve’s face was unreadable.

“Stevie? That’s so cute.” Natasha hummed, “I can’t believe you two kept this whole thing from me.”

“Well, cat’s out of the bag now,” Steve finally sighed into the communicator, “Bucky, it's fine, just don’t talk about that sort of stuff during a mission.”

“No talking about it again. Permission for one question?” Bucky’s lips cracked as he smiled.

“Granted.” Steve sighed, ignoring the snickering on the line.

“That is a yes, right?”


	2. But You're Keeping the Outfit, Right?

Two weeks later they were on an aircraft, headed back from yet another mission. He and Steve had endured plenty of teasing by their teammates. Steve laughed along with them. Bucky tried to as well, but his attempts at laughter were awkward and forced and they gave him strange looks for it. He didn’t try that again.

Back when they started this relationship, anyone, even friends, finding out about it could be a death sentence. He was still worried his new teammates would hate him and lose trust for him over this. Steve had assured him it was all okay, but he had his doubts. He didn't want to ruin Captain America's public reputation. Bucky was more than content staying a secret. 

Natasha smiled, coming up to him as the entered the craft, “I’m still not over it, you and Steve?”

“Yes.” He chewed his lip. He didn't remember the past he shared with Natasha. He would get bits and pieces, and sometimes she would tell him stories. He knew they were both close, but it wasn't a pleasant time for either of them.

“That's nice. I mean it, I’m not teasing you. How long?”

“Counting the breaks or no?”

“Breaks?”

“We started about eighty years ago.” Bucky smiled softly, remembering the first kiss they shared, curled together under blankets in the cold night. It was sweet and slow and perfect; Steve’s first, Bucky’s first with another man. They were both so small and weak back then, it’s a miracle Steve wasn’t hurt. He blushed a little, “When he took me back in, after he was sure everything was alright with me, we just picked up where we left off.”

“That’s sweet.” Tony said, coming up behind him. Bucky had heard him approach, but hoped he wouldn’t interact with them. He wraps his arms around his and Natasha’s shoulder, making Bucky flinch, “I can’t believe America’s poster boy has been boning his sidekick for years.”

“We’re friends and I love him. We do have sex.” Bucky frowned, “Is it acceptable to talk so publicly about it? I know the world has changed.”

Tony laughed, moving ahead of them. Natasha sighed, “Ignore him, okay?”

Steve smiled, sitting down, patting the seat next to him. Bucky smiled a little. Steve grounded him, made him so much more happy. Sometimes he wished they could just fight together as just them. But the others fought well, and served as good allies. He touched the side of Natasha’s arm affectionately before leaving her to sit by Steve. 

He knew the others were looking at him. He didn’t care. Steve took his hand, squeezing it gently as the craft took off. Bucky leaned against him a little. These were well built. He didn’t get motion sickness from them very much, so he could ignore the anxiety vehicles gave him sometimes. He brought it up to Steve, and Steve told him about how he fell. It made Steve sad, so he tried not to talk about it again.

“So Barnes,” Tony sat hollered from the controls. Bucky grit his teeth, looking up, “I’ve got some questions, but Steve won’t answer them. I’ve been trying to get it out of him for days.”

“Leave them alone.” Natasha sighed. Bucky smiled appreciatively at her.

“No, I have to know. How did you two even do it back then? Did they have lube? Also, did you ever do it with him in the costume?”

“Carefully, yes, and yes.”

“Women do seem to get more sexually aroused by uniforms, yes.” Thor smiled at him. Bucky stared. Thor of all of them confused him the most. He didn’t know if he was being teased or if this was an attempt at friendship. Did friends talk about sex?

He rubbed his hand against Steve’s back, trying to find memories to confirm or deny that idea. He remembered being seventeen and telling Steve about getting his hands up a girl’s shirt after a date. He remembered guys at basic training talking about things they did with their ladies back home, and joining in on the conversations. Other men celebrated their conquests, grinning and laughing. It was a way to bond. He remembered lying on a cold slab while medical technicians discussed their weekends. He pushed away the last one.

Bucky smiled softly. Friends talked about sex. Steve told him that the rest of the team wanted to be friends with him. It all made sense.

Tony smirked, “Yeah, Pepper likes costume sex too. Well, so do I. It’s my second favorite to being naked.”

Bruce stood and walked out. Natasha glared at Tony and pulled a book out, rolling her eyes. Bucky frowned a little. They seemed unhappy. He didn’t know why. They were friends, and friends apparently talked about sex.

Clint smirked a little, “I’ve never had costume sex. I might have to talk her into it sometime.”

“Steve was actually the one who talked me into it.” Bucky smiled softly.

Everyone looked up at him, surprise on most their faces. Steve tensed up a little bit, “Bucky, maybe let’s...”

“You did. You told me earlier that you want to do it again tonight. I wasn’t even into it at first. But Steve here pushed me up against that wall, all full of super serum. Told me to call him Captain or sir. He outranked me and I would follow his orders. And damn if that all didn’t send chills down my spine. Stevie stripped me down, nothing but dog tags. Then he made me do exercises and recite rules. Didn’t know what he was doing until he put me down on my knees and tells me I did so good. 

“Then he whips it out, and yes, Stark, the serum improved him _everywhere._ That was actually the first time I saw the new and improved Steve, so I felt a little in over my head. But he helped me, he’s gentle like that, even when he’s shoving his massive cock down my throat. Got it all sloppy wet so it would slide in easier when he finally fucked me. We used vaseline, Steve opened me up with his fingers while I begged for it. 

“But I had to keep quiet enough. Didn’t matter if he was a hero, nobody could know about this. It was so so hard not to scream ‘Captain!’ when he finally pushed inside me. Best part? He was fully dressed the whole time, in that costume. Not even during the sex did he take anything off. He braced me up against his shield and made me his, with his new body and his fancy ass costume. First of many times. We do it like that about once a month, more if he’s got that nice after-battle energy.”

Bucky leaned back against Steve, triumphant grin on his face. He was met with stunned silence and shocked faces. Natasha was the first to break the silence, looking up with a little grin and applauding him. Tony stopped asking questions after that.


	3. Any Questions?

Steve rubbed Bucky’s knee gently, parking the car. They were on their way to a press conference about Bucky. Files about him and his past had recently went public, and all of them had things to account for. It would be Bucky’s very first press conference, and Steve could feel how nervous he was. It was understandable. He’d heard his friends refer to it as ‘interrogation’ several times when he begged Fury to not make him do this. 

Bucky bit his lip, “What if they ask me about things I can’t remember?”

“Just tell the truth. Everyone just wants to know that you’re safe to be around and that we have nothing to hide.”

“We have plenty to hide.” Bucky frowned a little, turning to him, “They’re already scared of me when I’m fighting by your side. Imagine how they’ll act if they ever knew about us.”

Steve sighed. Their relationship had only gotten more complicated recently. Bucky had accidentally outed them both to their teammates. Luckily, they all managed to take it pretty well, despite gentle teasing. He had prefered to keep it a secret, but it was nice being able to kiss Bucky casually in the kitchen of Stark’s mansion, or hold him close while they watched a movie. He knew it made Bucky happier too.

Bucky did, however have an issue of oversharing. He never meant to, and he knew that his friend was still learning the art of socializing again. But it wasn’t very easy when everyone found out the exact details of their sex life. He sighed, “Bucky?”

“Yes Steve?”

“Information about our private lives is... confidential.”

“You said we couldn’t hide anything. We had to be honest. Your orders are contradicting.”

“Not orders, okay? They’re suggestions. I’m suggesting you don’t tell people about this, a lot of them are going to have a hard time with it. Treat it like confidential information. You can talk about how we’re friends, just don’t tell them about the sex. And please, please don’t go into detail.”

Bucky looked away, embarrassed, “I’m still sorry. I thought friends talked about sex. I was just trying to be friendly.”

Steve sighed, pulling Bucky into a hug. He knew he was trying so hard, and it made him hurt when Bucky fell short. He hated knowing that Bucky was far more afraid of them than they were of him. It wasn’t fair to anyone and he wanted everything to just somehow be okay.

Bucky hugged him back, “You could just drive away right now and I wouldn’t have to do this. I’d be so grateful for it.”

“I wish I could. But if this doesn’t go well, people will start wanting you off the team. This is important, and I know you’re going to do great. So you’re going to get out and answer every question they have, okay?”

Bucky stared a little, like he was about to question him again, but instead he got out of the car, following as directed. Steve went behind him after a moment. He wished he could take Bucky’s place, but he would help more just being in the audience as a friendly face. At least that’s what he told himself as he sat down.

He almost breaks when he sees the look on Bucky’s face. It’s not the cool, resolved anger of the Soldier, nor the ferocity of his Bucky. It’s fear. It’s an animal in a cage. He only saw that look on Bucky’s face once before, and that was enough for a lifetime for him. Everyone leaned forward, waiting for him to start talking. Steve wanted to scream at them, clear them out. Couldn’t they tell how afraid he was?

Bucky cleared his throat uneasily, “My name is James Barnes. I was a Sergeant in the US Army when I fell off a train and was presumed dead. I was captured by Soviet scientists who experimented on me. Due to their brainwashing and amnesia from the fall, I didn’t have memory of who I was before. My handlers equipped me with a cybernetic arm, and conditioned me to kill. After missions, I was locked back in cryogenic freeze. I was not a person to them, but a weapon to be used. I did not see myself as a person. After the fall of the Soviet union, I was transferred to HYDRA, and used as a weapon by them too.”

Bucky looked at Steve, who gave him a small, reassuring nod. Bucky nodded back, “And then, a few months ago, I learned I was more than a weapon. When SHIELD fell, I was being used by HYDRA to kill Captain America. They didn’t count on him being the person to break the decades of brainwashing. Steve Rogers had been my friend and ally before I went off to any war, and he was here for me when I came back. Through the help of him, Director Fury, and many therapists and doctors, I was deemed fit for service. I’ve been working with the Avengers, doing everything I can to redeem myself for the deaths I unwillingly caused.”

Steve bit his lip, trying to ignore every what-if that popped in his head. Bucky’s flesh hand trembled a little at his side. Steve wanted to hold it gently and promise Bucky that everything was okay. But he couldn’t. He had to sit as the questions started.

“Mr. Barnes, do you remember your victims?”

“Yes.”

“Would you be able to name them?”

“I would.”

“Barnes, do you think your teammates are in any danger by being around you?”

“They’re more than capable of putting me down if they need to.”

“Does Captain Rogers or Ms. Romanov harbor ill will towards you for your attempts on their lives.”

“They do not. Natasha is my friend and Steve-” Bucky bit his lip. Steve took a sharp inhale. Bucky looked down at him, then back at the cameras, “My relationship with Steve is classified.”

“What does that mean?”

“That I am not authorized to tell you.”

Steve tried not to smirk. He knew Bucky was avoiding the point on purpose, the only small rebellion he could muster. Steve loved that, that was his Bucky.

“Under who’s authority?”

“Steve’s.”

There’s concerned murmuring, and a few glances shot at him. Steve shifts, biting his lip awkwardly. Bucky looked around, fear returning a little, “Are there any more questions?”

“Is Steve your new handler?”

“No! No, Steve’s my-” He bites his lip, looking near tears. Steve stand up and walks out the side door, trying to get back around to backstage, wanting to stop this.

“Mr. Barnes, what _is_ your relationship with Steve Rogers?”

Bucky makes a soft noise that breaks Steve’s heart. He looks up, speaking in a determined voice, “I love Steve and he loves me. He’s not my handler, I’m not a fucking weapon anymore. He’s my friend and we fuck a lot and I really enjoy it. So I guess that’s my relationship with him.”

There was a small silence before everyone started asking questions at once. Bucky stammered a little before Steve pulled him off. Bucky sighed gratefully, closing his eyes. Steve went up to the stand, “Yes, what he said was true. We won’t be taking any more questions for now.”

He stepped off, hugging Bucky. He told him not to talk about it, but he did. Steve wasn’t mad right now, he knew Bucky was struggling with all the pressure from the conference mixed with the stress of having disobeyed what he probably saw as an order. He was upset about being outed, but right now he had to keep Bucky from breaking down. He kissed him gently, guiding him back to the car, “It’s okay, you did okay. Just relax.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homophobia is still going on today, as are hate crimes. 50 people were shot dead and 53 were wounded today in a gay bar in Orlando, Florida. This is the largest mass shooting in US history, and a strong act of hate against the LGBT+ community. If you can, consider donating [here](https://www.gofundme.com/29bubytq). This fundraiser is by The Center Orlando; funds are going to the victims and their families.


	4. There's Always Someone Watching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning: Bucky tries to be physically intimate with Steve, despite him vocally protesting. It does not go far.

Steve was watching TV with the others when Bucky came in. Steve smiled at him. He hardly ever joined them in their down time, even though Steve knew he wanted to become friends. He’d managed to get better at small talk, and was getting better about taking jokes. He had even once played a game of darts with Clint. While that was more competition than fun, it was getting closer.

Bucky made eye contact with Steve and stopped, standing at attention. Steve sighed, smiling more, “You wanna sit with us?”

Bucky looked uncertain, “I just came to apologise.”

“It’s fine, seriously.” Steve closed his eyes, wishing Bucky would just drop this. He knew he didn’t do it on purpose. Sure, everything was sort of a mess for him, but it wasn’t Bucky’s fault. He knew people would find out eventually.

Bucky nodded, “Thank you, Steve. That’s all.”

“James, you can watch the movie with us if you want.” Natasha came back into the room with popcorn.

“Yeah, you’re probably behind on everything too,” Tony laughed, “Why didn’t we invite him to movie night sooner? C’mon, you like being a sneaky bastard, you’ll like this one.”

Steve smiled proudly when Bucky didn’t tense up, recognizing the insult as teasing. Bucky nodded a little, sitting next to Steve rigidly. Steve reached over, wrapping his arm around Bucky’s shoulder, pulling him close.

“I’m so sorry, Stevie, you told me not to, I shouldn’t-”

Steve kissed him gently, enough to shut him up, before pulling away. He didn’t like kissing Bucky in front of people very much, but he needed to know that Steve cared. Bucky relaxed more, slumping against him a little, trying to focus on the movie.

Bucky reached over with his metal hand, holding Steve’s. Steve squeezed gently, suppressing a little shiver. He didn’t like the cold feeling of it, but he wasn’t going to rob Bucky of affection. He knew Tony adapted the sensory receptors in it recently, and Bucky just wanted to touch. Bucky’s forehead wrinkled in concentration as he started tracing the lines of Steve’s hand. He pulled it away after a bit, cupping Bucky’s face with a little smile.

Bucky smiled back, leaning up and kissing him gently. Steve kissed back a little before returning to watching the movie. Bucky leaned closer. Steve knew he wanted more, but now wasn’t the time. 

Steve tuned out for a while, focusing on watching the movie and feeling Bucky against him. He was jolted out when Natasha threw a piece of popcorn at him, “What do you think?”

“What?”

“Jesus, Nat, the senior citizens were napping, should’ve left them alone.” Tony smirked.

“Do you think Brad Pitt is hot in this movie? Tony says he’s got a fivehead, but I think he’s nice enough.”

“Fivehead?”

“Bigger than a forehead.” Tony nodded, “And don’t play like you’re embarrassed about the question or anything, your boytoy ruined that little act for you.”

“Tony, be nice, he’s still from a different generation.” Bruce sighed.

“A generation that still had deepthroating. Can’t be the only one who remembers that.” Clint muttered.

“Boytoy?” Bucky frowned, sitting up a bit, looking at Steve in confusion. Steve shrugged in response.

“Which one’s Brad Pitt again?” Steve blinked a little, ignoring what Tony called Bucky, deciding to give this one a pass. He looked at the screen, which shifted between different actors. He blinked at the grey haired one, “Him?”

“That’s George Clooney,” Natasha shook her head, “Just let it... There, that one. What do you think?”

Steve shrugged a little. He liked Bucky, sure, but he didn’t about guys care too much past that. Bucky tensed up a little, staring at Steve, face unreadable. Natasha touched his arm gently, “James. Не поступайте так ревнив.”

Tony groaned, “I’m going to impose an English only rule. Are you talking about me? FRIDAY, were they talking about me?”

 

Clint leaned over, looking at Bucky and moving his hands. It took Steve a moment to realize he was signing. Bucky gave a little nod and signed back. Steve smiled at him, “I didn’t know you knew sign language.”

“Neither did I. I think I know many languages.” Bucky hummed, “They were all probably programmed into me based on need. Steve, tu te soviens français?”

Steve shrugged, “Pas très bon, mais oui.”

“Stop!” Tony groaned, “I only took high school Spanish.”

“¿Español?” Bucky smiled proudly at him, “Yo estuve en Cuba antes de. Yo recuerdo.”

Tony frowned. Bucky curled back close to Steve, looking at him uncertainly and a little sad, “Ai-je dit quelque chose de mal?”

“No, Bucky, you’re fine,” Steve smiled, switching back to English, “Tony’s just dealing with being the only one to not know something.”

“Fine, you create multiple AIs then.” He rolled his eyes.

“Let Bucky have his moment.” Steve smiled, “We can get back to Tony being the king in a bit, alright.”

Bucky kissed Steve appreciatively, holding him close for a long moment. Steve pulled back, but Bucky pressed in again, not ready to stop kissing. Steve let him kiss a little longer before pulling back, face a little red. Luckily, everyone had seemed to have gone back to watching the movie. Bucky gave a little smile, whispering, “I really am sorry for earlier. Wanna make it up to you.”

Steve blushed, “Then you can later.”

Bucky hummed in response, kissing along Steve's jawline, hand sneaking down. Steve tensed up, “I said later, Bucky.”

Bucky make a little noise and started sucking on his neck, moving into his lap. Steve pulled away, “Cut it out.”

“Get a room.” Clint rolled his eyes. Steve huffed, embarrassed, wanting to just watch a movie. He and Bucky could do this later, when they weren't in front of everyone.

Bucky rolled his hips, starting to leave a hickey, metal hand moving into Steve's pants. Steve had enough, and tried to push him off gently, accidentally shoving him to the floor, “I said stop!”

Bucky looked up at him, blank. It made him think of the first week, when he broke a glass and avoided Tony and Steve all day, fearing punishment. Bucky thought Steve was going to hurt him for disobeying. Steve closed his eyes, well aware that everyone was looking at them. He sighed, “I'm sorry, Buck, I just-”

Bucky flinched when Steve reached a hand out to help him up. He didn't meet Steve’s gaze, muttering, “No, it's my fault. You asked me to stop. I'm going to be in my room.”

“You can stay and finish the movie, I just didn't want you-”

“Is that an order?”

“What?”

“Do I have to stay?”

“No, Bucky, but you're allowed to.”

“I'm allowed to leave also?”

“You can, but-” Steve bit his lip as Bucky turned, walking away quickly, hiding his face. He sighed a little. He just wanted to relax with his friends. Maybe try to get Bucky to as well. He shook his head, “I'm sorry guys, finish the movie without me. I... I have to deal with this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything but the Spanish (and, of course, the English) was Google translate. Sorry if it's poor grammar.
> 
> Also, fun fact, the title is from Ocean's Eleven (2001), the movie they're watching.


	5. In Vino Veritas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains alcohol, and mentions of rape and violence. I also wrote this chapter drunk, then edited, so it might be rough. This whole work went a lot darker than I meant for it to be, but it'll pick up, don't worry.

Bucky felt warm and soft. He touched his cheek with his weaker hand. Soft. Weak. Warm. He bit his lip a little, looking around the room. There were so many people. People were talking to each other. He was not talking to anyone right now because he was not people. No. False. He was people. Stevie said so. 

He chewed more on his lip, moving around the room uneasily. He was drunk. He didn't used to be allowed to drink. Steve said he was allowed to eat and drink anoything he wanted. But everyone started talking and he was nervous and Tony shoved a drink into his hand. So he drank it. Then he drank another. And another. He kept drinking until he wasn't scared of all the weapons all the people in here could have. It was nice to not be afraid.

He felt nice overall. He wasn't in pain right now. And he wasn't scared. But he felt pretty bad too. Steve bothered him lately with how he was acting. He was distant. They didn't have sex anymore. Steve flinched away when he tried to touch him. Bucky tried to overcompensate: touch more, make him want it. Steve said no every time. He stopped trying the other day. Steve didn't even seem to care. Bucky tried hard not to be hurt by it. Steve was just angry at him, but wouldn't say it. Or punish him. He wished Steve would, so he could stop being angry. 

Some people came up and tried to talk to him. The first one startled him, and he shouted at her in Russian on pure instinct, grabbing a butter knife. She left him alone. He felt a little bad. Steve wanted him to make friends. He guessed he wanted friends. He ruined every small step towards maybe getting one. Natasha was the closest he had, and that was only because of some old memory.

Steve was on the couch talking to people who were real people and always were real people. Bucky found himself sitting down next to him, curling close, trying to ignore the way the real people looked at him.

“Hey Bucky,” Steve smiled softly, “This is Aalia Williamson, Isaac Young, and Kara Verne. They work at NASA. Everyone I'm sure you know Bucky Barnes.”

They all smiled politely at him. Bucky gave them a flat look, “Yeah. I'm Cap’n America's serial killer boyfriend. ‘Cept he hates that word.”

Steve turned to him, “Bucky, are you drunk?”

“Yeah, ‘M drunk. Does it matter? You do hate me sayin’ were boyfriends. Just like y’hate my touch.” He snaked his stronger hand up to brush Steve's cheek.

“Bucky.” Steve closed his eyes.

“You hate th’good hand. You hate it cause it just makes y’think ‘bout the train. Lettin’ me fall.” Bucky stuck two metal fingers in Steve's mouth, smiling a little. It felt good. Stark installed sensory receptors. He knew Steve would get rid of them if he could. He wondered if Steve would get rid of him if he could.

Steve frowned and pulled away. Bucky laughed at the shallow attempt to hide disgust. He knew full and well Steve hated it. He shook his head, “Y’never lemme touch you with it. The one time I tried using it t’get you off-”

“Bucky. Please. We can talk about this some other time. Yes, I feel bad for the fall. It was my fault. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Yeah, whate’er.” He ran his hand through Steve's hair nuzzling close. Steve awkwardly resumed whatever conversation he was having with the NASA folk. Bucky tuned it out. He'd heard enough of Steve being sad he didn't get to walk on the moon. He didn’t care. He hated that whole thing anyways. Steve nudged him a little, and Bucky sat up, frowning. He was almost asleep. He wished he could just sleep and not have to deal with making pathetic attempts at small talk. 

“She asked you about the moon landing.” Steve smiled politely, “What it was like from the Soviet perspective, if you remember.”

“If you don’t it’s okay,” she smiled politely, “I mean, it all happened years before I was born, but I-”

“Fuckin’ terrible.” He grumbled, curling close to Steve again. 

Steve shifted unhappily, “Bucky, please, you’re being rude.”

“Don’ wanna fuckin’ talk ‘bout it.”

“You don’t have to!” The woman put her hands up as a peace gesture, “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

Steve sighed. Bucky looked at him, venom in his eyes. He had the guts to be mad at Bucky right now. Of course. Steve just wanted him to be so perfect and well behaved. Wanted him to be perfect around the team, wanted him to be perfect at the press conferences, wanted him to be perfect at parties. He wasn’t.

Bucky looked up with a rough expression, “‘S fine. Y’wanna hear ‘bout th’worst beating of m’fuckin’ life? ‘Cause that’s wha’ I got they found out. ‘N beatin’ me always made ‘em horny. So they all, y'know... I nearly died ‘cause m’masters were so upset ‘bout you fuckers gettin’ there first.”

Bucky grabbed one of the engineer’s drinks, downing it quickly, shivering at the burning sensation. Steve was tense, and he should be. Bucky never told him about the other uses many of his handlers and owners had for him. Bucky looked up at him, “Yeah. They fucked me. I don’ care anymore. Y’shouldn’t. No one’s fuckin’ me anymore anyways. They’re not. You’re not. Who cares.”

Steve looked horrified, the engineers were stunned. Bucky gave them withering glances. He didn’t want pity. He stood up, grabbing another drink and wandering out. He hoped Steve wouldn’t follow him. He went up to a guest room and curled up on the bed. 

Steve was pissed again, probably. Bucky said something wrong again. He didn’t care. He was so tired of pretending everything was okay, like he was the Bucky that Steve left all those years ago. He wasn’t. Steve wasn’t the same either. Bucky didn’t know when he got so sad and serious. Must’ve been something after he woke back up. He asked Steve once and Steve didn’t tell him. He guessed they both kept little secrets. 

“Computer?” Bucky blinked a little, “Wha’s your name? Computer?”

“My name is FRIDAY.” A voice came through the walls. Bucky closed his eyes. It was creepy to him. It would never not be creepy. 

“Make th’lights go away an’ don’ tell Stevie where I am.” Bucky sighed, “If he cares.”

The lights dimmed, and Bucky closed his eyes, content to be able to sleep for a good while. If he had to face an angry Steve in the morning, then he would deal with it in the morning. Right now he wanted to be left alone. He pulled the blankets over himself, “‘Nd make it warm in here. Hate the cold.”


	6. Old and in Love

Bucky woke up on the couch, head fuzzy. Natasha frowned, sitting on a sofa across from him, “Good, you’re awake. Feeling better?”

“Wh...” Bucky blinked, sitting up slowly. The last thing he remembered was hearing gunshots and then, “Steve. Where is he? He... he was shot, I need to-”

He stood up, and fell back on the couch, head pounding. Natasha sighed, “Yeah. He was shot during the mission. And then do you remember what you did next?”

Bucky shrugged and shook his head, grabbing the glass of water she pushed towards him, “You killed everyone in the general area. Which was actually really helpful, until we tried to get Steve some medical help. I’d say you owe Clint an apology, but he’s also the one who tranquilized you, so you two are probably even.”

“Where’s Steve now? Is he okay?”

“He’s almost fully healed, he’s laying down upstairs. We’re in a safe house, it’s secure. He’ll be downstairs in a bit.”

“Alright,” Bucky stood with some difficult, “I’m going to go up and talk to him.”

“It would really be best if you gave him a little time. I know you two have been fighting recently. He needs a little time to heal, he took four bullets to the chest. Most of us would be dead.”

“Exactly. That’s why I need to talk to him.” Bucky turned, seeing Tony standing by the stairs. He scowled at him, trying not to wince with every step.

Tony moved in front of the stairs, “Nat’s right. He needs-”

Bucky pulled out his gun, cocking it. He would rather not shoot Tony, but he doubted his bluff would be called on this. “I don’t care what you think Steve needs. I’m going to talk to him.”

Tony’s hands went up and he stepped back, “Jesus, you’re a friendly one...”

Bucky rolled his eyes, storming upstairs, opening the bedroom doors until he found Steve, laying in bed. Steve smiled awkwardly up at him, “Oh, hey Bucky, you doing okay? Nat said Clint had to take you out with a tranquilizer.”

“I’m fine,” Bucky went over, running his hands over Steve’s bare chest, where the wounds were almost healed, “You got hurt. You got shot. Oh Steve...”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a supersoldier, remember? I’m all patched up and good.”

Bucky nodded a little, “But what if you’re not next time?”

“I will be.”

“You can guarantee that.” He sighed, “I don’t want to risk... I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you and you and I were...”

“On bad terms. Is now really the time to sit down and talk about this all.”

“If not now, when? Steve, I’ve hated sleeping alone. I get it, I need to learn how to keep my damn mouth shut, and I'm trying, Stevie. But I miss you.”

Steve smiled softly, grabbing Bucky and pulling him down on the bed. It was a tight squeeze, but they fit, bodies slotted close. Steve kissed his cheek, “Missed you too. I... Bucky, about what you said at that party, I... I don't want to take advantage-”

“You're not. You're different than them. I know that. I also knew you'd get all scared about it if I told you. But I promise, I'm past it. It's just like every other way they hurt me: it's over now.” Bucky bit his lip, trying to not think about it. They hurt him during it. They never once cared about his pleasure, just his humiliation. Steve only wanted him happy. He didn’t ever want to compare the two in his mind.

Steve nodded, lightly curling his fingers around the elbow of the metal arm, “And I... I never thought of you as my boyfriend before ‘cause I didn't want anyone doing to you what they did to Peggy. Half the guys in the world don't see her as the founder of SHIELD and this amazing woman, just the gal I liked. She's more than that. And you're more than just Captain America's boyfriend. I want people to know that before they go labeling you.”

Bucky huffed, “I don't. Being with you is one of the only good things about me.”

Steve tensed, “Buck-”

“I'd rather the media go crazy ‘cause I let you fuck me than ‘cause I'm a brainwashed killer. And I won't try to get in your pants in front of your friends again, but it wouldn't kill you to act affectionate.”

Steve nodded, kissing Bucky's forehead gently. Bucky rolled his eyes, “You keep missing my lips.”

“Not going there yet. There's another thing we need to clear up. I... Bucky I'm so sorry about letting you-”

Bucky forced his lips against Steve's, shutting him up. He bit the bottom one gently before pulling away, “No. You tried to grab me. And if you went looking, I was sure to be far gone by the time you got there. Not a damn thing you could have done ‘cept get your own self killed. I like the arm. It keeps me safe. You don't like it, then don't touch it.”

Steve rubbed his arm softly, starting to kiss him gently. Bucky smiled softly into it, pulling Steve close, rolling their hips together with a small, sweet grin. It made him think of when they were just young boys,learning each other’s bodies. He broke to kiss to start sucking sweetly on Steve’s neck, touching his chest gently.

“Get naked, Bucky, c’mon, we probably won’t have long til someone comes to check on me.” Steve tugged at Bucky’s shirt, running his other hand up it. Bucky laughs and smiles, scrambling off the bed to strip down. Steve watches him with a smile that’s close to devilish. 

Bucky strokes himself, basking in Steve’s watch, “I didn’t bring any lube. I wasn’t expecting...”

“There’s lotion in the nightstand? I mean, we don’t have to, but-”

“It’ll work. I’ve been so fucking horny without you touching me.” Bucky digs around, finding the lotion, grinning.

“Wait, you know that you’re allowed to touch yourself, right?”

Bucky blinks, getting the lotion on his flesh hand. He knelt on the bed and starting to finger himself, “I... I never thought about it. I guess I did before, but... Huh. Yeah, I didn’t even think to try.”

“You did it all the time.” He laughed, “You were always so needy, and my body wasn’t always up for it back then. Even before we started messing around, you’d run off every once and awhile just to get off.”

Bucky smiled a little, taking his metal hand and trying to stroke himself, other hand two fingers deep in himself, “Oh! Oh jeez... That feels sort of different...”

“Good different? If you want, I can do it for you right now?” Steve offered, watching him, tenting in his pants. 

Bucky bit his lip, “Y’know... I can think of a way you could help, but I don’t think it’s with your hand.”

Steve blushed a little, like he wasn’t watching Bucky get himself off, and moved Bucky so he was lying on his back, grabbing the lotion and opening Bucky up as he sucked on him, slowly.

Bucky moaned, toes curling, “Steve! Steve, if you don't stop, I'm gonna cum just like this I- Oh!”

Steve added in a third finger, stretching Bucky open. The blowjob was a little lacking in experience, but Steve was eager and Bucky was so desperate. He grabbed Steve by the back of the head and bucked into his mouth two more times before finally coming. 

“Oh... Oh Stevie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get rough, I just...”

Steve kissed him, tasting like cum and sweat, before pulling away, “Hold your legs spread apart for me, Bucky. Nice and wide, I'm gonna make you all mine.”

Bucky grinned, leaning a little against the headboard, letting Steve push his thick, long cock slowly inside. Steve paused, “You okay, Bucky? Is this okay?”

“Told you not to coddle me, Rogers. I'm not the wounded one here, c'mon and fuck me.”

* * *

Natasha looked up when Bruce came in, giving him an apologetic smile. He'd ran out to grab groceries enough to tide them over until tomorrow.

Tony was sitting on the couch, sprawled out, looking a little traumatised. Clint was reading a book. Thor had a small grin on his face, sitting and drinking out of a mug. Classical music was blaring out of Tony's phone. 

Bruce gave Natasha a curious look, shouting, “Why's the music up so loud?!”

“What?” She frowned, not having been able to see his lips.

“The music!”

“Oh.” She frowned a little. “Uh...”

Tony looked up, a little exhausted, pausing it. Bruce didn't understand. It was quiet for a second, until the silence was broken by the squeak of an old bed, the thud of the headboard slamming against the wall, and faint panting and grunting.

“Yes! Yes! Right there!”

“Yeah, Bucky, that's it, c'mon, take it, take it, so good, so fucking good! So tight! Oh Bucky you're perfect, so tight and good! You're mine, baby, all mine, gonna mark you up, make you mine!”

“Harder! Captain, please please please, I'm almost there! Harder!” 

Natasha turned the music back on. Bruce nodded a little unpacking the groceries, trying his best to tune in to only the music.

* * *

Steve wandered downstairs a quarter hour later, Bucky trailing behind. Steve was a little red in the face, while Bucky was grinning triumphantly. 

Tony rolled his eyes, pausing the music. Steve smiled, “Didn't take you for a classical kind of guy. There plans for dinner?”

“What, work up an appetite?” Clint quipped, smirking. 

Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve's waist possessively. Steve let him, tracing lines on the metal arm, familiarizing himself with it, “Yeah, it's been a long day. My ears are ringing, Stark, why were you playing that so loud.”

“Mainly to cover the sounds of a national hero pounding the hell out of his boytoy.”

“Boyfriend.” Steve said with a smile.

“Ah, to be old and in love.” Tony rolled his eyes, “What, Barnes, nothing to say?”

Bucky shrugged, leaning close to Steve, “I, uh, ‘worked up an appetite’ too. What's for dinner?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all! Thanks for reading!


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